Mother Knows Best
by Madame Atomic Bomb
Summary: Ursa knows, even if they don't. Zuko/Suki, Zuki


Suki's breath steamed on the cold glass and she reached up a gloved hand, lazily wiping away the condensation so that she could peer out into the garden below. Snow fell in fat, fluffy flakes, sticking in patches around the peaceful, nearly empty courtyard. The trees were dark and bare, casting little blue shadows across the snowy bricks.

She pressed her face to the window, enjoying the coolness, a little smile playing on her lips as she watched the lone figure moving in the courtyard beneath her. His long robes swirled in the wind, his arms moving from one Firebending form to another. Great gouts of flame burst to life from his outstretched fingers, igniting in the air and sending the reaching shadows retreating like whipped dogs.

His scarred face was a mask of concentration, serene in its intensity. She watched as he spun and flipped in mid-air, coming down in a crouch that shot flames racing across the scorched bricks. The flames melted a pile of snow that had been stubbornly sticking there, threatening accumulation. Steam rose in little wisps, but he ignored it, turning and moving into a series of punches and kicks, his body moving in a wide arc across the courtyard.

She watched every movement intently, her own muscles clenching and tightening, her heart leaping with each explosion of flame until she almost felt as if she were down there with him. Moving in time to his heartbeat. She could almost feel the heat on her cheeks. Could see the red in his cheeks, the gold of his eyes…

"He's quite good, isn't he?" a soft voice said on Suki's left, causing her to jump and spin on the intruder to her private moment. She was shocked to find herself face to face with Lady Ursa, who met her startled gaze with a warm smile and then glanced at her son down in the courtyard. Her delicate fingers reached up to touch the steamed up glass. "The way he moves… Zuko has the heart of a dancer."

"And the soul of a fighter," Suki said, returning Lady Ursa's gentle smile, even though she felt as if she'd been…caught at something forbidden. Which was ridiculous. She hadn't been doing anything wrong.

"Yes, he is a fighter. He fights for his Nation, for his family, for his honor… My son has seen more heartache and pain than most twice his age." Ursa's voice was sad, and not a little ashamed. Suki could tell that she blamed herself for Zuko's troubled path in life.

"He's strong, though. Stronger than he knows," Suki said comfortingly, reaching out and touching the woman's shoulder briefly. Ursa shot her a brief smile and then turned back to watch Zuko out the window. "He's amazing, actually."

"I always thought so, but I am his mother, after all. I have a bit of a bias," Ursa said wryly, but her expression turned serious as she glanced over at Suki. "You watch him every day, don't you?"

There was no accusation in her voice, just a gentle surety. It still made Suki feel as if she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't have been.

"It's my–"

"Job? I've seen you, though. Out of uniform, here at this window watching him."

Suki felt her cheeks heating and was grateful for the layers of her Warrior's paint that would hide it. She glanced out the window, watching as Zuko pulled out his dual dao swords and started slicing at the air.

"It's… It's my job to guard him. And I… I worry about his safety even when I'm off duty. I find his workout…soothing," she said as Ursa wiped condensation off of the window with her long sleeves. Outside, the wind was picking up, the flakes becoming smaller, more determined to stick to whatever surface they could. It didn't snow much in the Fire Nation, Suki had discovered, but winter still bit down on the islands occasionally.

"You were friends before you took up the post?" Zuko's mother asked as she watched her son move into a complicated kata.

"Yes. We met during the war," she replied, frowning a little as she watched Ursa's silhouette and then glanced out the window at Zuko, watching as he dipped and spun, the tips of his swords raking the stones and striking up sparks. "He helped break me out of prison, actually."

"He told me he burned down your village," Ursa said, with just a touch of unhappiness nesting in the corners of her mouth.

"He told you about that?"

"Yes. He speaks very highly of you, Captain," Ursa said and turned shrewd eyes on her. "I can see why."

She didn't know what to say to that. There was so much weight to Ursa's words, meaning that stretching between them, too heavy for comprehension. Too heavy to bear. She felt her heart squeeze as she looked away from Ursa's knowing eyes. Zuko was diving and spinning, his twin blades flashing, his dark hair streaming out behind him like dark ribbons. His breath puffed into the air like little ghosts, haunting her with each exhale.

Her muscles clenched again, desperate to move alongside him, to feel the fight in her bones, the weapon in her hands. She imagined it, for one moment. Gripping one the twin blades, the leather wrapped handle worn in her fingers, the blade fine and straight, edge wicked and wanting. Her body flowing into the kata, in time to his heartbeat, his steps, his breath.

She swallowed, tearing herself out of the fantasy. She could feel Ursa's gaze on her.

"Oh…that's… I'm glad to hear that," Suki said softly.

"He cares for you." Suki felt her throat tightening as she stared at Ursa. Zuko's mother tilted her head at her and smiled in that warm, gentle way again. "But I don't think he knows the way you feel about him. Or how he really feels about you."

The floor dropped out from beneath Suki's feet as she stared at Lady Ursa. "W-what?"

Ursa stepped forward, taking both of Suki's trembling hands. She looked Suki in the eyes. "My son is a wonderful young man, but he's not the most observant. Not of himself, or of others. He won't see what I see in both of you. He's not ready to."

"I… I'm dating Sokka. Zuko isn't… I…"

Ursa reached up and patted Suki's cheek. "I know all of that, but I still see what I see. A mother always knows. To deny your heart of what it really wants…that is a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone. I want my son to be happy, and there is no one who would safeguard his happiness like you would. I know it in my bones."

Suki felt tears burning her eyes and as she blinked they betrayed her, spilling down her cheeks. She stared at Ursa, at this woman who had so neatly and gently ripped through the layers of emotion she'd been afraid to acknowledge for so long.

"Lady Ursa…"

But Ursa just patted her hand and walked off, disappearing down the hallway as quickly as she'd appeared, leaving Suki to stand beside the wide, foggy window with her heart in her mouth, and her soul ripped open.

She slowly turned to the window again, peering out into the gathering shadows of the snowy courtyard. Zuko was wiping at his brow with the edge of his robe, his hair whipping in the wind. For the first time, he seemed to sense her gaze on him, because he looked up, unerringly finding her framed in the window. She wondered if he'd seen her there the whole time.

She waved at him with a shaking hand, her smile cautious. Zuko returned the gesture, a smile breaking out over his face as their gazes connected. Zuko seemed to hesitate, then he lifted his hand and crooked his finger at her in obvious invitation.

 _Come down and play._

She didn't hesitate, grinning as she nodded and headed toward the stairs, chasing her heart and her desire, even as guilt and panic nipped at her heels. She would have to confront some things soon.

But not today. Not when the snow was falling and soft blue shadows played across Zuko's face. Not when their bodies moved together across the stones, in synch, much too close, their exertions chasing away the cold. Not when his gaze was on hers, hot and wanting.

Soon. But not yet.

 _(end)_


End file.
